It's been a long day for some reason, no longer than usual but feels a bit drawn out. I'm a little tired tonight and can't quite articulate what I am feeling.
I've spent a lot of time recently trying to figure out what's going on inside Justin's head, what thoughts he's having, how the mechanics of his brain are working, healing, fixing, reconnecting, re-routing, re-adjusting. Can he see us? Can he hear us? What can he see and hear? What can he really understand? How much comprehension has he really got? If he has no comprehension of anything, what must that be like. The only way we can relate to this concept is thinking back to being a baby, seeing the outside world for the first time. It's a scary thought and one can analyse this a bit too much. Anita explained this well in her post yesterday… "Not knowing very much about what is going on in Justin’s head is perhaps not that different either to the situation before the accident" She's right of course, she somehow always is!
Since I can't really get my head around that fact that it's possible to lose all comprehension of everything. I prefer to think that he has some and is aware of his surroundings, he can hear, see and even understand a little about what is going on. We have seen evidence of this over the last few days. Today he was "sleeping" less, the doctors have said he has had his eyes open more and has been making increasing attempts to communicate with his lips. They are also cautious and quick to point out that this could just be a mumble or sound and not necessarily actual words. We won't know until he has his throat tube removed. He seemed more alert in the afternoon visit and Janie experienced a series of consistent responses to her commands, so much so that the doctor asked her to continue to repeat what she was doing so he could see for himself. She was clearly delighted when she returned from the hospital, as were we all. Again the doctors will want to see more simple instructions being followed like the poking out of the tongue, something that they seem to ask him to do every day but hasn't managed yet. I tried to show Justin what to do so he could see, then I thought maybe he can't understand what the doctor's saying at all and all he can see is his brother poking his tongue out at him. I felt bad!
He had a bit a fever last night again but that has come down now, he also has a slight chest infection which is a concern to the doctors but they were happy to reassure us that he is responding to the antibiotics and believe they will get it under control. Infections particularly in the chest is common place with patients that have been on ventilator support. What didn't really help was being in the GMC for several days after, breathing in all the dirty, contaminated air. On the last day of ward 108, a maintenance man came around with a ladder and started dusting all of the fans, right above Justin's head, crazy! Justin is also a smoker or now an ex-smoker, so naturally he is producing a lot of the secretions in his lungs which are also susceptible to infection. The doctors are not treating this as serious but it is a priority to clear this infection so he can be moved out of ICU and into his own room.
From a neurological stand point, according to the doctor, Justin improving, it may be only 1%, 2% or 5% per day but he's on the right track and for that we should be thankful.
Justin knows that he's not alone in this, he knows that we are all here for him, he can feel the enormous amount of energy flooding his way and one should never feel there their efforts are futile or immaterial. Whatever healing powers are being projected towards Justin, he is matching that 10 fold and more. He will never want to let anyone down including himself, keep believing in him, but also keep believing in yourself.
C'MON JUSTIN...
I've spent a lot of time recently trying to figure out what's going on inside Justin's head, what thoughts he's having, how the mechanics of his brain are working, healing, fixing, reconnecting, re-routing, re-adjusting. Can he see us? Can he hear us? What can he see and hear? What can he really understand? How much comprehension has he really got? If he has no comprehension of anything, what must that be like. The only way we can relate to this concept is thinking back to being a baby, seeing the outside world for the first time. It's a scary thought and one can analyse this a bit too much. Anita explained this well in her post yesterday… "Not knowing very much about what is going on in Justin’s head is perhaps not that different either to the situation before the accident" She's right of course, she somehow always is!
Since I can't really get my head around that fact that it's possible to lose all comprehension of everything. I prefer to think that he has some and is aware of his surroundings, he can hear, see and even understand a little about what is going on. We have seen evidence of this over the last few days. Today he was "sleeping" less, the doctors have said he has had his eyes open more and has been making increasing attempts to communicate with his lips. They are also cautious and quick to point out that this could just be a mumble or sound and not necessarily actual words. We won't know until he has his throat tube removed. He seemed more alert in the afternoon visit and Janie experienced a series of consistent responses to her commands, so much so that the doctor asked her to continue to repeat what she was doing so he could see for himself. She was clearly delighted when she returned from the hospital, as were we all. Again the doctors will want to see more simple instructions being followed like the poking out of the tongue, something that they seem to ask him to do every day but hasn't managed yet. I tried to show Justin what to do so he could see, then I thought maybe he can't understand what the doctor's saying at all and all he can see is his brother poking his tongue out at him. I felt bad!
He had a bit a fever last night again but that has come down now, he also has a slight chest infection which is a concern to the doctors but they were happy to reassure us that he is responding to the antibiotics and believe they will get it under control. Infections particularly in the chest is common place with patients that have been on ventilator support. What didn't really help was being in the GMC for several days after, breathing in all the dirty, contaminated air. On the last day of ward 108, a maintenance man came around with a ladder and started dusting all of the fans, right above Justin's head, crazy! Justin is also a smoker or now an ex-smoker, so naturally he is producing a lot of the secretions in his lungs which are also susceptible to infection. The doctors are not treating this as serious but it is a priority to clear this infection so he can be moved out of ICU and into his own room.
From a neurological stand point, according to the doctor, Justin improving, it may be only 1%, 2% or 5% per day but he's on the right track and for that we should be thankful.
Justin knows that he's not alone in this, he knows that we are all here for him, he can feel the enormous amount of energy flooding his way and one should never feel there their efforts are futile or immaterial. Whatever healing powers are being projected towards Justin, he is matching that 10 fold and more. He will never want to let anyone down including himself, keep believing in him, but also keep believing in yourself.
C'MON JUSTIN...
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