Justin update - 29th June 2012

I write this update whilst Janie and I sit at Justin's bedside in ward 108 Goa Medical College. It's 10.45pm, we are doing the night shift, the first of the 24 hour round the clock vigil that we will keep for him until further notice. But don't be alarmed, he's just taken a deep breath, independent of any breathing apparatus which he has now been free from since yesterday afternoon. He's sleeping now but only a moment ago, he opened his eyes for about the 5th time today, not fully but voluntarily. The fist time he did it was as we were shifting him from the trolly onto the ward bed. He looked, not through us but straight into Dad's eyes, and then into mine. He was clearly confused as one would be and tried to communicate something to us. His lips moved slightly but no sounds came out. He's done this a few more times since and again only moments ago. We can't tell you how elated we are, it's the first sign that there is some light in his eyes and the start of him regaining consciousness.

We are so grateful for the Doctors here that saved his life, the care that they provided in ICU was amazing but the ward is an entirely different animal. The plan now is to pray that the next 24 to 48 hours goes by without any problems then we can start the process of getting him moved to the private hospital. At least there we won't have to sleep on the floor of the ward only feet away from the the adjacent patients hanging urine bag.

Wish Justin, Janie and Myself a good nights sleep, I have a feeling that Justin will sleep like a log, Janie and I on the other hand… not so much.

Justin update - 27th June 2012

I have to admit, this is getting harder and harder now. I feel like I want to report on every tiny change, good or bad. As time goes on, we feel that with every passing minute he's getting closer and closer to waking up or taking the next leap forward whatever that may be. The reality is that although there has been some flickers of hope, movement of his arms and legs, another attempt at opening his eyes and even a yawn, yes a yawn the cheeky bugger! But alas there has been no major improvement in terms of how the doctors are evaluating his level of consciousness. He is now back on the ventilator as his breathing wasn't consistent enough for him to breath independently, which means he remains in ICU for now at least.

We shouldn't feel disappointed, his condition has not worsened that's for sure. We are now on day 7 since the accident and he's still very much with us. He's just have a little breather before he moves forward to the next level.

I personally am finding a lot of comfort and reassurance in hearing and reading about inspiring and amazing recovery stories, not random ones from the Internet but from friends experiences. I won't mention names here, you know who you are, thanks for sending them. I read them over and over, please keep them coming, you can message them to me. They really do give me hope and strength, which I need to pass on to Justin twice a day.

Dad and I had two sessions with him today, Dad has a very calming influence over Justin, a man of few words, they are both equally happy to sit in each others company, in silence and just let the world go by, a very special bond indeed.

I played Justin some more Doors in the morning and then at the request of Barney, some Snow Patrol, starting with the track "Open Your Eyes". He didn't so I played him "Maybe Tomorrow" by the Stereophonics.

Justin update - 26th June 2012

The last couple of days have been a time of realising and accepting that the process is going to "take some time" in the words of the Doctors, without letting go of the absolute belief that Justin will pull through. I've said this before here, Justin has never done anything, unless it's in his own time, you can imagine how frustrating that was for mum and dad when we were kids. When he did eventually get around to doing anything, he would always be the first and best at it. You can imagine how frustrating that was for me when we were kids.

We were given some good news yesterday, he was now able to breath on his own which meant that he could be moved out of the ICU. He still had a slight fever but that seemed to be going down and the doctors were waiting for the results of the blood test to determine the cause. He was going to be removed from the ventilator support yesterday, however they found that he was still finding it a struggle to breath completely on his own. Because of this they have now been able to conclude that an area of the brain that affects the body temperature and breathing has still not quite recovered from the swelling. So again, this will take a little more time for that area to heal once the swelling has completely subsided. Considering just 3 days ago he had a high fever and was totally dependant on the ventilator support when can take this as a good sign that it's healing. In addition, it's also good that the fever is not caused by an infection of some sorts.

This morning I was lucky enough to be present when the Dr performed the "pinch" test, in fact he did more that a little pinch, he really twisted his nipple then was poking him in the eye, I was even wincing in pain. Its sounds horrible but this is all necessary to determine Justin's motor responses. Justin is really reacting to the pinching and even opening his eyes, in fact, he had his eyes half open and was blinking when we went in, this was great for Dad to see. What the Dr is really looking for is for Justin to clench his fist, as this is not so much a reflex but more a voluntary reaction to the pain. I think Justin will do more than just clench his fist when he finds out who's been twisting his nipple.

I played him some more Doors and left while Dad got to spend some time alone with him, this is the first time they have had a chance to be alone together since they arrived here. Dad and Justin are very much alike, I think out of everything today, this was the most important thing, for both of them.

Justin update - 25th June 2012

With so much riding on this morning, our expectations were high, maybe a little too high. There was just so little information coming from the Doctors over the weekend it was really frustrating for all of us, especially mum and dad who have only just arrived and have suddenly been confronted with the magnitude and severity of the situation.

The morning visits have always been more rewarding in that in the last few sessions we feel that there has been some significant progress and even some milestones. We went there feeling that today was going to be another good day. All we want him to do is to open his eyes, maybe we all want this a bit too much, maybe it's just too much to ask at this stage, who knows, we don't and nobody is telling us what to expect.

We had arranged that only 2 of us were going to get to see him this morning but we managed to wangle it so we all got to be with him for a bit. I was really pleased as I'd stood aside to allow mum and Janie to be with him for the full session. He looked peaceful again, his fever had gone down again and he is now breathing 100% on his own. In fact the ventilator support will be removed entirely, I think this is happening today. This means that he can come out of ICU and into a ward. There is some debate as to whether the ward is the best place for him. Our plan was to move him to the private hospital once he could breath on his own. However we have been strongly advised against this by the head of the neurological dept, he still has a fever and needs more time off the ventilator support. Since he will have to be moved out of ICU now he's off the ventilator, we agreed the ward is the best place for him at the moment. It also means that we can spend more time with him. The plan is still to move him to a private hospital but only when he's ready.

I played him some music, today was The Doors as he likes a bit of Jim Morrison. He was clenching his hand at one point and dad asked him to hold his and it looked like he unclenched so that dad could hold his hand. His eyes are still flickering/blinking too but there was no clear sign that he's ready to wake up just yet. The doctors don't see that as a huge sign anyway, in fact they are looking for more motor responses such as grabbing the doctor when they do the pinch test. I felt like telling the doctor that he'll do more than just grab you when he finds out who's been pinching him while he's been asleep, The was the first chance that we had a real proper consultation with the Dr so I didn't want to scare him.

We're going back in a couple of hours, I've got a bit of a cold coming to I don't think I should see him, especially as he's still fighting the fever.

As we left, I picked up my iphone and I could here the verse

Well, I've been down so Goddamn long
That it looks like up to me
Well, I've been down so very damn long
That it looks like up to me
Yeah, why don't one you people
C'mon and set me free

I left it to play out.

Justin update - 24th June 2012

Tonight's visit was a difficult one for many reasons. When we find out during the day by phone call that there hasn't been any changes since the morning it makes us feel a bit deflated. We are told however not to expect and significant reactions or improvement from the morning to the evening due to the sedatives he is on during the day. There are now 4 of us that are desperate to spend time with him during these precious 10 min visits, the rules of the ICU only allow 2 people in for 10 min only, we were hoping that we could break it up into 2 x 5min slots. The staff there tonight were not happy with that at all so there was a real sense of urgency to see him, talk to him, rub his arms and legs etc, it all felt a bit rushed. He also had a bit of a fever again which we thought had gone yesterday, he was sweating a bit but it seemed awfully hot in there compared to the temperature in the morning. On the plus side, they have now removed the oxygen pump which only leaves the regulator to aid his breathing. For the first time, he took sigh and there was still some flickering of the eyes. It's so frustrating not being able to speak to any Doctors when you need to. Mum and Dad clearly have a lot of questions but It's Sunday so the Doctors were not available, and when they are, it's hard to pin them down. Hopefully the regular Doctors will be back for tomorrow's visit. we're going to avoid a repeat of tonight's visit by just letting 2 people spend the entire 10 min with him then the second couple in the evening, this hopefully should make for a calmer experience all round and Justin likes a bit of calm.
Here's to tomorrow, a new dawn, a new day, a new life for Justin, lets hope he's feeling good.

Justin update - 24th June 2012

Mum and Dad are here, they arrived at 3.30am, tired and obviously anxious to see Justin. We arrived at the hospital a little before the 7.20am scheduled visiting time in the hope that we could get in earlier, it wasn't to be, there are pretty strict. Mum and I went in first, when we walked towards his bed I could see his eyes flickering and even lightly blinking, but still half closed. This was amazing to see. He looked so much better than he has done the previous days and has Janie has said in her post, for the first time, he looked like he was in a light sleep state as opposed to a deep coma state. This gave us real hope that he is on the brink of waking up.

It's really difficult to get any information out of the Doctors, positive or negative but it seemed that they were happy with the latest signs. Therefore we're happy to call it progress.

Dad and Janie followed in soon after, breaking all the ICU rules of only 2 at a time per bed, then Sinead tip toed in afterwards. Mum and Dad spoke to him, we massaged his hands and feet (Justin hates all this fuss at the best of times) I was so pleased that Mum and Dad got to see him at this stage, even though he's still got a long way to go, he looks a million times better, which we all know he'll be pleased about.

As always, thanks for all the support, this is truly amazing. Please keep it coming as together with Justin's incredible resilience and super human will power, the good WILL come out.

Justin update - 23rd June 2012

We just returned from the evening visitors session, it's tough because we only get 2 sessions per day and they only last 10 min each, 10 min is such a short time to gauge any progress. This morning we had a real breakthrough, a milestone in his road to recovery. By opening his eyes for a brief moment was the first sign that he WILL regain consciousness. But we shouldn't rush this process, he needs to wake up in his own time, and trust me, Justin only does things in his own time.

There was no further significant progress throughout the day, although we were secretly hoping there would be. He is still responding to our voices and touch and there seemed to be some effort to vocally communicate with us but it was difficult to tell. We played him some Starsailor and reminded him that he can always call on his angels for a bit of help.

Mum and Dad will be here tomorrow morning, they'll see him for the first time and it doesn't matter who you are, how old you are, there is no greater love than that of your first child.

Quick update - 23rd June 2012

We have just got back from the hospital following the early morning visit. He was still asleep when we arrived and were told that there was very little improvement, although his physical reactions seemed to be a lot better and his breathing is vastly improved. We are talking to him, keeping it positive, passing on all the amazing messages of love and support, touching him, played him some music and tried to stimulate his senses. He is definitely reacting to all of this, his eyes were flicking and moving.
The Doctor then came over and pinched his chest really hard, Justin winced in pain, brought his arm up and then OPENED HIS EYES!!!!

This is a massive leap forward and the first sign that he is beginning to regain consciousness. His eyes remained open for sometime, we talked to him, reassured him, he knew we there for sure. After a couple of minutes he relaxed and went back to sleep as he is still under some sedation. We will go back again in a couple of hours.

To the hundreds of people from all over the world, and that's just on this page, to everyone who has left messages, prayed, sent positive vibes and are generally willing him on. Together with his amazing will power and determination, It is working. My parents arrive here in Goa early tomorrow morning, all we ask is that they can look into eyes and tell him that they love him.

You are all amazing, thank you from the bottom of my heart for helping us keep the faith and our spirits alive.

Justin update - 22nd June 2012

I arrived in Goa this morning at 6.30m and went straight to the hospital with Sinead, Janie and Susan. Janie and I were allowed into see Justin at 7.30am. My heart sank when I saw him for the first time, but Janie has been an absolute rock. It seemed initially that there had been some improvement, the doctors explained that he is now able to breath on his own, although he still requires the ventilator as support. We both talked to him and touched him, he seemed to be responsive albeit a little anxious and tense at times. He also has a fever which is being treated and is coming down.

Unfortunately there was no sign of him waking up. He then had to go for a routine CT scan to see if there was any evidence of the blood clot that was previously removed. The results showed that there was no sign of the blood clot, we accepted this as a small step forward. However it was felt that in order to reduce the risk of damage to the brain, the cranial flap was to be removed to allow greater blood flow and to reduce any potential pressure to that area of the brain. He also needed a tracheotomy so the ventilator could be removed from his mouth. Both operations were successful and he looked a lot better without the pipe in his mouth. We left there whilst he recovered in peace after his surgery, with a different sense of hope.

Now I want to be frank, he is still very much fighting for his life, the next four days are absolutely crucial and we need everyone to continue to pray or do whatever we need to do to send happy positive vibes his way, It's working and I know he can feel it, we all do. Justin will fight his way out of this, I know it, and he will win just like he always does.