Justin update - 27th August 2012

This update is from Max Chandra

As I have previously mentioned on the Facebook group, it has been some two months since I have last seen Justin at which time he had been lying immobile in a semi-coma at the government hospital in Panjim, pipes coming from his nose and throat, an absent look in his eyes, deep purple bruising throughout his upper left side, severe swelling of his right arm and, of course, some serious head injuries.

Since then I have been following Justin’s progress, as have we all, through the heartfelt and candid voice of Scott and during several conversations that he and I have shared during the course of my absence from India.

I met Justin several years ago, at a beach party in Palolem. We spoke very briefly yet a quiet friendship developed over the course of that season with the last couple of years being when we got to know each other properly. There began a mutual respect and back up for one another that may have even gone unnoticed by our peers. We wouldn’t see each other or speak for days or weeks at a time but when we did it was for a reason, we wanted to catch up, had things to talk about and we trusted each others thoughts and opinions. This is in my mind as I am on my way to see him.

I am now with Scott as we approach the private hospital where Justin now receives the care that he needs.  My heart skips a few beats as Scott prepares me to expect many tears from Justin and I wondered how many tears I may shed myself as I see my mate for the first time since my return to India.

Jan, Justin's mum met me outside of his room and gave me a hug while Scott prepared Justin for my visit.  My heartbeat is now galloping from the apprehension that stirs within me, of seeing Justin for myself and to gauge my own thoughts of the progress that he has made. The door to his room opens, Scott comes out and I go in.

The room lights up, as does my heart, as Justin welcomes me with a broad smile, a “Hello mate” and his hand of friendship. His grip was weak but good as we both held firm as I lent down and kissed him on the cheek and receiving a kiss in return.

He maintains eye contact as we speak. There is a fair amount of mumbling between a few perfect words and he seems to understand some of what I am saying but finds it difficult to vocalize his thoughts. He wants to show me what he is able to do on a physical level by stretching his legs out as much as he is able with clear signs of pain. I feel that Justin somehow associates me with physical activity from within his memories when I used to train him.

He spoke constantly throughout my visit although I was unable to decipher much of what he is trying to say but I do believe that he knows what he is saying in his own mind.  I find this very frustrating as I desperately want to understand him and cannot imagine how frustrating it might be for him.  I shall be honest in saying that at no point did Justin and I have a full conversation. He repeated the odd word within a sentence but I do not think that he always understands what that word might mean.

He did, as Scott said he would, shed a few tears, as did I silently from within. But not from sadness or concern for my dear friend, my tears came from marvel and wonder.  Justin may not be speaking fluently and coherently but he certainly is thinking and attempting to convey these thoughts in his mind through his lips. He is moving every limb, some better than others. He is eating solid foods and the pipes from his throat and nose are gone. The purple and swelling are also gone. The wounds to his head have healed well and he has a good crop of hair, still no greys!!  For me, the greatest joy was seeing life and awareness within his eyes that were all but vacant not so long ago.

On my second visit to Justin I gave him some one on one physio and then aided the physiotherapist that tends to him each day. I cannot say how my session may have differed from any previous sessions that he has had but I can say that he fought through pain and tiredness every step of the way as if to please me with his efforts which he surely did. He cried out in pain a few times, pushed out an extra rep here and there and cussed me out quite a lot, as he did when I used to train him before so nothing new there!!

Whether one believes in miracles or not one cannot doubt that Justin’s progress is miraculous. I for one believe that the word miraculous will continue to be used as we watch Justin from near and afar as he fights with true grit and determination onwards and upwards, no longer for his life but for the life that he wants to lead.

C’MON JUSTIN!!

Justin update - 24th August 2012

It's been 7 days since my last confession… er I mean update and Justin is still fighting away, surprising everyone with his progress. What's most notable in the last week or so are his vocal abilities, he's gone from whispering and not being heard, to speaking louder and not being understood. Justin has been diagnosed with a condition known as Fluent Aphasia which is a speech and language communication problem caused by damage to the language centers of the brain. The simplest way to describe it is imagine constantly having the words on the tip of your tongue yet not being able to say them. We all know how frustrating that can be and for Justin, it's beginning to show but I'll forgive him for a bit of 'effing and blinding, for now. He was due to start speech therapy this week but the therapist can't talk as she has a sore throat, hmm! Once the treatment starts it should help him connect the dots. He'll get his speech back eventually with some intensive therapy, but he may always have some issues.

He does manage to get the words out sometimes, in fact he gave me a right earful during the physio session yesterday, a sign of things to come I feel. Our friend Max Chandra stepped in to assist today, he's a lot bigger than us so Justin would have thought twice about about telling him to F*** off. We had a little giggle too, we were both watching '2 and A Half Men' and Justin spontaneously starting singing the theme tune "Men, Men Men, Men, Manly Men, Do Do Doo Do Do Doo Do Doo". I thought I'd strike while the iron was hot so I asked him to do the alphabet, I started a,b,c d etc, to which he said "What song is that then?" I replied, "it's the alphabet song of course", he went "oh yeah" and began singing the "alphabet song" but he only got up to G then went back to the theme tune to "2 and A Half Men"

There's a lot been happening outside of the hospital this week too. We have finally got Justin accepted into the Broomfields Hospital in Chelmsford, Essex which by all accounts has a fantastic rehabilitation unit. It's a huge weight off our shoulders and it means we can get the wheels in motion for Justin's repatriation. Medical repatriations don't come cheap apparently and since Justin didn't have any travel or medical insurance, we have to find about £20,000 in the next few weeks, gulp! But in the grand scheme of things, it's only money and by hook or by crook, we'll raise it and get our man back to the UK.

I don't need to keep telling you that I'm blown away daily by the kindness and generosity of Justin's friends old and new, and strangers near and far. The level of love and support that we have seen and felt is immeasurable. Sometimes Justin seems so confused, afraid and alone but I know he's not, he has you all, he's in your thoughts and in your hearts and I tell him this always. I'm so proud of you mate. C'MON JUSTIN… you can do this, you are doing this.

This weekend is a special one, Saturday night is the 444 Fundraiser at Westbourne Studios in London. Some of Justin's close friends have put on a fundraising extravaganza to rival anything in London on the same night. Great venue, Superstar DJ's including the Silent Noise resident DJ's plus special guest Justin Robertson from Lionrock, amazing raffle and auction prizes but most importantly a bunch of people all coming together for an incredible cause. If you're going, I hope you have a terrific night. If your Saturday night is still not decided, get yourself down to Westbourne Studios in London or if you can't make it then you can still take part and win some amazing prizes. All the details are here.

http://444justin.blogspot.in/p/444-fundraiser-250812.html

I really wish I could be there, to thank you all for everything that you've done for Justin over the last couple of months but sadly I can't make it, I've got an evening planned in front of the TV with Justin watching 2 and a Half Men and eating alphabet spaghetti.

Where it all began.
Me and Justin at the Laughing Buddha, Palolem Beach, Goa, 2004

Justin update - 17th August 2012

I was going to start with a heart warming story about how Justin came to my rescue several years ago after I had a motorbike accident in Nepal, it's a funny story but I'll save it for another time. I just wanted this update to simply be about the huge leaps forward that Justin has made in the last 3 weeks. Has it been three weeks since my last update? Where does the time go?

We've accepted that Justin's progress cannot be measured in days or even weeks, realistically we're looking at a month on month basis to notice any real significant improvements. Thats not to say things are not happening daily, they are and no matter how small, a movement of a toe, a new memory, a followed command, a flex of the ankle, a laugh and even a little wave goodbye, they are all milestones for Justin.

I've been procrastinating over this latest update for many reasons. The last few weeks have been 'emotional' for want of a better word, especially for Justin. It was inevitable that as he moved closer to the surface, he would start to realise the severity of his situation. We all have them occasionally, but I would imagine that Justin's 'moments of clarity' are not filled with the joyous wonders of life and all things bright and beautiful. He wakes up daily to the horrifying fact that he can't move his arms or legs, feels pain where he didn't before, can't remember names or places, can't express himself or communicate in the way that he should be able to and feels frustrated that we can't understand him, I could go on. For Justin his awakening is proving to be the nightmare come true that we all fear for ourselves and our loved ones.

But we shouldn't dwell on the negative, the big changes from 3 weeks ago is that Justin is now able to express his emotions, he has dug deep and found the strength to challenge his paralysis, his brain is working overtime firing new signals, making new connections, performing new functions and taking over old ones. He is trying to communicate more using his voice, the faint whispering is slowly being replaced with a more coherent chatter, words and sentences flow at times, conversations can even be held, with a little prompting here and there. However, he doesn't always make sense, there's a lot of guesswork, the gap between what Justin is thinking and what he is actually saying still needs to be bridged but there's definitely more comprehension. Justin is now well aware of his situation and knows that he's got mountains to climb to overcome it. And that is the big breakthrough!

I now look back at the video of the first thumb wrestling in sheer wonderment, it's astonishing what the human body can go through and even more so, how it can repair. We were told some cold hard truths about Justin's condition and the bleakness of his prognosis, and yet he seems to be defying all the odds. We've heard the doctors say "He's doing better than expected" and "…better in 6 weeks than other patients in 6 months…", I've even heard Dr Doom, who I'm warming too a little, confess "…I didn't expect this!" after he was told about Justin talking. I shouldn't mock Dr Doom, he, like all of the staff at the hospital are incredible (I now know they read this blog :) and I'm so grateful to them for all that they are doing, not just for Justin but for our entire family.

One of the toughest things we've had to consider over the last few weeks has been when to introduce new visitors for Justin. We had come close several times and when presented this to him, he had either been very negative or his reaction was difficult to gauge, so we've backed off and waited for a different moment. We wanted to ensure that it was for all the right reasons. It needed to simply be for Justin, to know that his friends are there for him, to offer him comfort, support and reassurances and to tell him they loved him, which they all obviously would, but he needed to be comfortable with his own self. In the last week, Justin seemed a lot more receptive to the idea, and as a result a couple of Justin's closest friends have spent some quality time with him, it was magical to see the spark of recognition in his face as soon as he set eyes on them. It's also brought a lot of emotions to the surface and there has been a few tears from all involved. But hey, there's nothing wrong with a couple of grown men crying, sometimes it's good to let the boo hoos out.

At some point soon, Justin will require less hospitalisation and more specialist therapies. As much as we admire the hospital, the facilities and all the staff here, it's important that Justin return to the UK soon to continue his treatment there. Our parents obviously need to get back to their lives in the UK, and myself, Anita and Talo will most likely take a year out of our lives in Nepal and return to the UK with Justin too. Plans are currently being made for his repatriation and admission to a hospital, this could happen in about 4 weeks from now.

Today after probably one of the most most grueling physio sessions he's had, we got Justin into the wheelchair where I wanted to take him outside for a bit of fresh air. Two days ago I had brought in his favourite purple shirt, as he sat in the chair, I draped it around his shoulders and we set off for the great outdoors. In truth, there wasn't a great deal of fresh air, it was humid and sticky and the sun was beating down on us but it didn't matter, Justin looked good, the best he's looked in weeks. But there was still something missing, then I realised, he would never have left the house in broad daylight without his sunglasses. What was I thinking? Sorry Justin, my mistake, I'll remember tomorrow, I promise


444 Fundraiser.

Justin's friends are holding a special charity event in London on the 25.08.12 to raise a glass and a few quid for Justin's medical and rehabilitation needs.

They have put together an incredible collection of prizes that can be won won via a raffle or auction.

If you're in London the night before Notting Hill Carnival, get yourself over to Westbourne Studios where none other than Justin Robertson will be rocking the tunes for the cause.

If you can't make the event, you can still buy raffle tickets or place a bid to win an amazing prize.

Please click on the link to find out how it all works and see the list of prizes on offer.

http://444justin.blogspot.in/p/444-fundraiser-250812.html

C'MON JUSTIN...